Published 2012-07-08.
Although current society is most obsessed with its stigma against obesity, being exceptionally small in build and stature also tends to carry - at least for men - a mildly negative image. Since this is my own fate, I’d like to draw attention to some of its positive aspects:
- I can fit all sorts of places you can’t. Like cupboards. A man can be very productive in a nice, quiet cupboard.
- Nobody asks me to help move furniture.
- Less weight in the car = better gas mileage!
- To save even more on gas, I can skip driving altogether. I just wear a loose-fitting shirt, extend my arms, and sail downwind.
- I require less sustenance than you, which - in addition to being financially expedient - means there’s more left over for starving children in third-world countries. So basically, I’m a better person than you.
- If I stay clean-shaven I can pay children’s prices at many establishments.
- I can blame my emotional problems on cultural insensitivity instead of taking personal responsibility.
- If caught in a shooting or firefight, low surface area is an asset.
- I live with virtually no fear of cannibals.